


Do You Mind?

by Larkin21



Series: On My Mind [2]
Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: 17x02, 17x03, 17x04, 17x05, And the basic resolution was published months before the slow burn was written, Barisi - Freeform, Cause sex is coming early in next part, Episode Tag, Gen, M/M, Missing Moments, Only brief appearances from the rest of the squad, Pre-Barisi, Pre-casual relationship, Prequel, Slow burn but not typical slow burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-07
Updated: 2017-08-20
Packaged: 2018-12-05 14:40:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 11,287
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11580144
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Larkin21/pseuds/Larkin21
Summary: Pre-Barisi, set in early season 17. Barba's feelings toward Carisi grow beyond a grudging respect for a coworker, as told in missing moments from episodes 2-5.This is the first part to a multi-part prequel for my story,Mind If I Drop Over?This part is Barba's POV and it's rated teen, mostly for language. All other parts of the series are (or will likely be) rated explicit.





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chronologically, this story is the first part of the series so you do not have to read _Mind If I Drop Over?_ before you read this. That said, I did write _Mind If I Drop Over?_ first. You can easily read this series chronologically or in the order in which it was written. Completely up to you :)
> 
> Each chapter in this part is pre-Barisi from Rafael Barba's point of view. Each chapter covers one or more "missing moment" type scenes from an episode in Season 17. I used the scene/date cards in the episodes for the dates listed in this story. When a scene I wrote takes place on a day without a scene/date card, I did my best to guess what the date would be.
> 
> Thanks so much to [Barisilub](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Barisilub/pseuds/Barisilub) for beta'ing! Couldn't have done it without you, friend! *hugs* Any remaining mistakes are my own.
> 
> Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoy :)

* * *

**Friday June 12, 2015 - Criminal Pathology**

* * *

Rafael sat hunched at his desk while he read over the transcript from the day's testimony. He idly massaged his left temple as he read and marked Rudnick's cross-examination. He still felt frustrated that he couldn't trip Rudnick up. He groaned as he read the maddeningly evasive reply to what should have been a particularly incriminating line of questioning. 

As he jotted some notes on Rudnick's "defensive" wounds, Rafael's phone buzzed with a text alert. He reached for it out of reflex but stopped himself before picking it up. He needed to focus so he could go home at some point. He wasn't doing himself, or the case, any favors if he gave into the temptation of distraction. Just when he decided that he'd let himself check the message as soon as he finished marking up these last couple pages of testimony, his phone buzzed again. Flipping his screen over, he saw two notifications from Carisi.

_Carisi: You at your office? Rollins and I found something_

_Carisi: Mind if I bring it over?_

Rafael allowed himself a short moment to hope for a real breakthrough. While he mentally promised himself to finish working on the testimony while he waited for the detective, Rafael punched out his quick reply.

_Yes at the office. Come on_

He put his phone down and powered through the last two pages. Despite the fact that it was a Friday night and the trial wouldn't resume until Monday, Rafael knew there was more that he should work on while he waited. He always felt that he worked best when he did the bulk of his mid-trial prep immediately after a day in court. 

His tired mind had other ideas, though, and it started to wander the moment he pulled out a fresh legal pad and rubbed his eyes with the heels of his hands. He picked up his pen again, intending to brainstorm possible directions that Calhoun and Buchanan would take with their next couple of witnesses, when he started pondering the detectives' find.

He'd be lying if he said he wasn't counting on a game changer. Carisi's point about Rudnick talking to himself was inspired. The detective had been doing quite well on this case, as had Rollins. He almost felt bad for being dismissive of her theories but, to be fair, it appeared as though she was operating on intuition and some bizarre hope that Yates didn't have yet another victim. Intuition he could respect, to a certain degree. But it needed to lead to facts. And the other? It made it far too easy to underestimate her line of investigation.

Rafael thought back to Carisi in his office just a few days prior. Rollins should be thanking the man, really. Carisi's research is what finally won Rafael over. It wasn't the first time Rafael was impressed by the detective but he still couldn't help snorting as he thought back on it. Perhaps it was because Carisi had already done the digging before presenting a theory in Rafael's presence but it was the first time that Rafael could think of that Carisi had left out his customary "am I right?" after making a decent point.

Come to think of it, everything about that exchange had been different, even Carisi's body language. Usually, Carisi was leaning towards Rafael in these moments, like a dog hoping for praise in the form of pats on the head. But that day, when Rafael questioned his audacity in looking at Rudnick, Carisi had stood taller. He had squared his shoulders and straightened his back before his strong response and solid reasoning. And he had been right. It had been exactly the same when Carisi brought up Rudnick's international travel.

Carisi had gone against the grain and been proven correct other times too, of course. So why the change in body language? Why the dropped "am I right?" Was the detective finally getting more confident in his role within the squad? Most people would think that Carisi was dripping in confidence from the start, but Rafael had eventually seen through the bravado. It wasn't a difficult facade to detect, especially since Carisi regularly asked for validation, until the last few days.

Of course, it wasn't like the detective was full of self-doubt either, but he clearly still wanted to impress others, and to be told when he'd done something helpful and on point. That wasn't surprising from either a young person or someone who had transferred so often. The two in combination? It was a wonder Carisi ever took a risk and posited a theory.

Part of Rafael felt bad that he gave the kid a hard time. He was pretty sure that Carisi didn't mind the ribbing but maybe he was wrong. Had Carisi finally had enough? Did he think a stronger approach would make Rafael less likely to come back with an insult? He supposed that was possible. What else was different, though? Was he sticking up for Rollins? The two certainly seemed to be getting closer over the last couple of months.

What about Amaro's absence? Carisi often scoffed and rolled his eyes at Barba's jabs but he had noticed, more than once, that Amaro's disagreement could completely silence Carisi. Rafael knew that most of the squad would miss Nick, especially Liv and Rollins. He himself might have butted heads with Amaro from time to time, and many of the higher-ups at 1PP viewed Amaro as a liability, but Rafael knew Amaro's value. He truly viewed Amaro's leaving as more negative than positive. But he wondered if, for Carisi, Amaro's departure might be exactly what was needed. 

It was far too early to know now. But Rafael liked that concept better than the possibility that he might have pushed too far with Carisi. Perhaps Amaro's absence in combination with a little encouragement from his remaining teammates, Rafael included, and they would continue to see a more genuinely confident Carisi.

Rollins, on the other hand, had been erratic since Amaro left. That in and of itself was not unusual but--

A sudden knock on his door made Rafael blink up from his desk. His fountain pen, pressed lightly to the formerly blank legal pad, now bled through and seeped to a quarter sized ink-splotch. 

"Come in," he called as he capped his pen and dropped the notepad on the floor near his briefcase. His wandering thoughts had ruined it for the office but he would use it as scrap paper at home.

"Counselor, glad to see you're burning the midnight oil too." Carisi crossed the office in a few long strides to stand across from Rafael's desk, between the two chairs facing him. His right hand rested on the back of one chair and in his left hand, Rafael saw his tablet held loosely at his side.

"Wish I could agree with you, Detective. Had the testimony gone better today, I would be home by now."

"Yeah, I get that. And I know this case has you under a lot of pressure." Carisi sounded conciliatory, before a smile laced his voice. "But I think Rollins and I have made it worth your while."

Rafael felt his eyebrows draw up high into his forehead and, as he took a better look, he noticed that Carisi was excited. The fingers on the chair were drumming impatiently, and although his hold on his tablet was loose, he had begun swinging it against his leg with rapid wrist twists.

"And Rollins didn't want to share the spotlight of this discovery?"

"Nah, she's beat. And said something about a something she ate? Plus, your office is in the opposite direction of her apartment, so I volunteered." As he spoke, Carisi's right hand dislodged from the chair and began pointing and gesturing like Rollins going back and forth between the precinct, Hogan Place, and her apartment. "I texted the Sarge to let her know I was bringing this to you. She said she'd get the details tomorrow."

Rafael nodded and came from behind his desk. He gestured for Carisi to sit and he took the other chair on the same side of the desk so they could listen to Carisi's evidence together.

"So," Rafael began. "Your morgue theory gave us something?"

"Ah, actually no. But close," Carisi's fingers woke the tablet as he spoke and he typed in the passcode in front of Rafael's eyes, but too quick for him to catch. "I got my hands on the video of your initial interview with Rudnick, when he invoked counsel? Well, you and Sarge left him alone while you waited for Calhoun. And …"

He pressed play to a video queued up to Rudnick sitting alone in the conference room.

As Rafael watched and listened, he began to smile. He glanced at Carisi to see that the detective was smiling too, his eyes on Rafael before shifting slowly to the tablet. Rafael reached forward to pause it when Calhoun entered the room.

"Nice work, Carisi," Rafael told him, voice even despite his vastly improved mood.

Carisi sat up straighter and appeared to be suppressing a grin. Rafael almost chuckled from relief due to the breakthrough in the case, as well as Carisi's visible pride. Rafael stood and went around his desk, Carisi standing as well.

"A drink?" Rafael offered as he opened his bottom drawer to pull out his scotch.

"Um, you go ahead," Carisi told him hesitantly.

"There's plenty here," and Rafael held up the bottle to demonstrate as he walked to the side bureau to pull out a couple of glasses. "A break like this deserves a drink."

"Well, actually, I was hoping I could bend your ear." Rafael raised an eyebrow at him, turning back towards the detective who preemptively held up a mollifying hand. "I won't keep you longer than it takes to finish your drink, I swear."

Rafael did let out an amused chuckle at that. "I'm more wondering what you would need to 'bend my ear' about that precludes a drink?"

"Nah, that's not keeping me from having a drink. I just want to chat about this evidence. But I need to study after so ..."

Rafael nodded as he finished capping the bottle after pouring his own drink. He gestured toward the couch with his glass and turned back to the bureau to open the door that hid his mini fridge.

"Water?" He asked as he turned towards the couch, bottle of water in hand. 

"Yeah, thanks."

Carisi sat at the edge of the far end of the couch, his body angled slightly towards Rafael. Rafael tossed him the bottle, which sailed end over end until Carisi caught it easily with his left hand. 

"So what did you want to discuss?" Rafael prompted as he turned back to his stash of snacks beside his coffee pot. 

"Well, in my mind, this is a slam dunk," Carisi began. Rafael nodded absent mindedly, snatched the can of salted cashews, and strode to the couch. "I wanted your take," the detective continued. "What could trip this up?"

Rafael eyed Carisi as he settled comfortably with his snack in his lap and his drink in hand on the arm rest. Carisi was still more or less at the edge of the seat but he wasn't leaning forward like he had been while Rafael gathered his provisions. He was sitting up straight and looking Rafael in the eye. 

"You tell me, Fordham. Play defense attorney. How would you handle this evidence?"

"Well, I'd _want_ it thrown out."

"On what grounds?" Rafael kicked his feet onto the coffee table, left heel landing without a sound and right heel crossing over it at the ankle. He took a long, slow sip of his drink as Carisi paused to consider. When he spoke, though, there was no hesitation in his voice.

"That's just it. They don't have grounds. You told Rudnick that everything in the room was recorded." Carisi took a swallow of his water and then gestured the bottle in Rafael's direction. "Rudnick acknowledged that fact. Calhoun and Buchanan have this footage. Calhoun has had it since the arrest on that same day. I don't imagine they can argue Miranda rights since Rudnick came of his own free will and invoked counsel before you had necessary evidence for an official arrest."

"No," Rafael mused. "Miranda would be shot down rather quickly. Any other objections?"

"I can't think of a single one that might be even as likely as Brady or Miranda."

"So the evidence is in. What's your next move?"

"Plead guilty and hope for life with the option of parole?"

"That may be what they do."

"I honestly can't think of any other option," Rafael noticed that Carisi's accent became stronger as he continued to give the detective free rein to work the angles of case. "Insanity wouldn't work. He's proven that he understands right from wrong and that he's competent to stand trial."

"Agreed." 

Rafael continued to munch on cashews for a moment before he raised his eyebrows at Carisi's pause. It wasn't like the detective to slow down when he was on a roll, even for ten seconds.

"They'll probably see if there are any motions to dismiss that they hadn't considered?"

"Oh, they've considered all those options before trial. You're right that they'll do their due diligence. But they won't find anything."

"They missed this," came the quick retort.

Rafael downed the rest of his drink.

"We assume they did. They could just be hoping we miss it. Not much to be done, regardless who finds this confession first."

Rafael turned to grab the scotch and pour himself another drink.

"I can get out of your hair, Counselor," Carisi said quickly, before Rafael had even removed the cap. "So you can have that drink at home or in some swanky restaurant."

"What class are you studying for?" Rafael asked, ignoring him in favor of pouring a second drink, albeit a smaller portion than his first. Carisi froze mid-push up from the couch before easing back down.

"Uh, I'm just taking one class this summer. Ethics in Criminal Advocacy."

"Ethics? Must be nearing the end."

"Yeah, getting there." Carisi paused and fiddled with the end of his tie. "Hey, any chance I could shadow you on a case sometime? I mean, only on a case that works for you. And with Sarge's approval, of course."

"I don't know, Carisi. I--"

"Don't say 'no' right away," Carisi leaned forward a bit. His old eager self, despite his casual words. "Just … think about it."

Rafael nodded. 

"Summer probably won't be a good time anyway," Carisi sat back a bit, his tone light. "But I just wanted the idea to be in the back of your head."

"We'll consider it. If a case comes up that you're interested in--"

"That's all I ask," Carisi smiled and gestured as though to brush the topic aside, like brushing crumbs off a table.

Rafael felt his lip quirk up and looked the detective in the eye, perhaps a beat longer than was comfortable, because Carisi blushed and quickly took a large swig from his water bottle. 

"So uh, I have another question for ya, Counselor," Carisi choked out, clearly wanting to fill the silence since he spoke before he'd finished swallowing. "Do you really think Rudnick might have gotten off? I mean all that _Shawshank Redemption_ stuff? 'It's my most fervent wish that you could find the evidence that could either convict me or exonerate me?' You think juries would have fallen for it?"

" _Shawshank_ is exactly what he was going for, hoping juries would associate him with a sympathetic, wrongly accused man. And you said it yourself, Detective. Rudnick is charming. If he could charm you, he certainly can charm a jury."

"Hey now," Carisi frowned and shifted in his seat uncomfortably. He pointed at Rafael, who couldn't help but smirk in return. Carisi deflated slightly and blushed again, his dimples showing as he tried not to smile. "Alright, fine. He charmed me."

"At least you didn't let it interfere with your work," Rafael teased flatly.

"Oh ha ha," the detective intoned before a smirk graced his own lips. "Rudnick had so many people charmed, uh? I guess it's all the more important Rollins and I got ya this break?"

Rafael rolled his eyes. "How many times do I have to tell you 'good work' to satisfy you?" 

"I'll take that as a 'yes,' then."

"Please, Detective," Rafael responded, tone skirting the edge of true irritation. "Like you didn't know that video was going to save my ass from the moment you found it."

Carisi's eyes widened at that and his smile dimmed, but it didn't disappear completely.

"Everyone likes to be appreciated, Counselor," he joked lightly. "Especially for ass saving."

"Hm," Rafael agreed with a nod, expression neutral. "I'll take that under consideration."

Rafael popped some cashews into his mouth and glanced toward his clock. Seeing how late it had gotten, he stood to tidy his desk and gather his things so he could leave when he finished his drink.

"I should get going. Thanks for letting me take some of your time." Carisi was on his feet too and heading towards Rafael's door. Rafael's eyes lingered on him as he organized some paperwork back into their appropriate files.

"Don't mention it," Rafael dismissed. "Good work tonight. Go home and study so you can get some rest at some point."

Carisi ducked his head and smiled as he pulled the door open.

"Night, Counselor."

"Goodnight, Carisi."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, kudos and comments are much appreciated. Feel free to point out any mistakes you notice or share constructive criticism. Thanks again for reading! ♥


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shorter scene for this chapter, mostly because Barba wasn't in this episode. The next chapter will be longer, with multiple scenes.
> 
> Thank you again to [Barisilub](http://barisilub.tumblr.com) for beta'ing! You're the best! ♥ Any remaining mistakes are my own.

* * *

**Tuesday, June 23, 2015 - Transgender Bridge**

* * *

The squad room was the usual bustle of activity when Rafael exited the elevator. However, as he made his way towards Liv's office, he found that Rollins was the only detective at her desk.

"Detective," Rafael greeted good naturedly. "You the only one working past five?"

Rollins gave him a small smile that could hardly be called sincere. "No, Counselor," she breathed heavily. "Fin's with the mother of the kid who was just handed an adult's sentence. Carisi went to pick up dinner. And Benson's in her office."

"I was just here to talk to Benson about that sentence," Rafael answered, tone changing to match hers. "A tragedy for all involved. How's the mother holding up?"

"About as you'd expect?" Rollins shrugged. "Darius is generally a good kid. And she's a loving mom. So…"

Rafael nodded and tapped his briefcase against Rollins' desk, giving her a tight smile that she returned. He pivoted slowly away to continue to Benson's open door.

Liv looked up before Rafael even had to knock.

"Barba, come in."

Rafael gave her the same tight smile he shared with Rollins. Despite the circumstances surrounding the case, he had arrived at the precinct feeling rather light. The lightness disappeared, though, with the gloom he encountered. He leaned back in the chair across from Liv and watched her quietly as she took off her reading glasses and looked him in the eye. 

"What brin--"

"Liv," Barba interrupted gently. "You look li-- you look like you should go home. Your squad has things under control."

Liv sighed and rolled her eyes. "You can tell me when I look like shit, Barba. I know I do."

"I onl--" Barba started to protest but she just held up a hand, shaking her head.

"It's okay, really," Liv took a deep breath, steeling herself. "But that's not why you're here." 

"No. I'm here because I spoke with the DA about the McCrae case," Rafael began, shifting in his seat. Liv simply raised her eyebrows. "He agrees that this was a hard case."

"But he ultimately stands beside the decision," Liv sighed.

Rafael nodded. "Not that he could change anything at this point anyway but…"

The two sat for a moment, Liv with her eyes on her desk and Rafael focused on his nail scratching at the vinyl seam on his chair's arm.

"How's the squad doing? A detective down and the tough cases you've handled recently?"

"All the cases are tough."

Rafael nodded his agreement, eyebrows raised, and he knew that Liv wasn't going to acknowledge the rest of his question. He was about to push the issue when Carisi arrived and stopped in the doorway, straddling the threshold.

"Hey, Sarge, Counselor," Carisi greeted quietly. "I'm sorry to interrupt--" Liv and Barba both waved a dismissive hand-- "Right, well, I have your dinner in the break room, Sarge. Counselor, there's plenty of food. If you're in the mood for linguine with clam sauce. Fresh from Pangione's."

Carisi's voice, though kind and inviting, lacked the regular enthusiasm he often displayed in moments like these. It was hardly the first time he'd offered to share food with Rafael when the squad was eating together and he happened to be at the precinct.

"Thank you, Carisi," Rafael responded, turning in his seat to look the detective in the eye. "I appreciate the offer but I have other plans for dinner."

"Sure thing," Carisi replied, never insulted or put off even when Rafael wasn't so polite in his refusals. As Carisi turned to leave, a thought occurred to Rafael.

"Detective, you made quite an impression on O'Dwyer. Multiple messages on behalf of the Parkers? Thinking about pursuing a career in victims' advocacy?"

Rafael's mouth quirked in a smile that widened slightly at Carisi's blush and answering grin.

"Yeah, well," Carisi answered easily, "Call me crazy but seems like an ADA's office would return the calls of a detective working his or her case."

"Trying to flatter me out of this conversation?" Rafael responded flatly. "We both know that I rarely return your calls."

"Not you. Carmen does though."

"She's always been the overachiever," Rafael agreed. Liv snorted and Rafael exchanged an amused look with her, pleased that he gave her a reason to laugh.

"O'Dwyer complain about the calls?" Carisi asked cautiously. He entered the office fully and leaned against the window to the interrogation room, hands resting on the edge of the window behind him.

"Not so much that, or even you, specifically," Rafael shifted his gaze from Carisi to Liv, "as this squad in general. He came to my office a couple days ago, expecting an ally in dealing with SVU."

"I'd think you'd have plenty of SVU related war stories to bond with O'Dwyer over," Liv teased.

"If I thought for a second," Rafael began, more sincere than he usually responded to Liv's teasing, "that _bonding_ with O'Dwyer might have changed his mind on any of these charges--"

"This isn't on you, Counselor."

Despite his penchant for interrupting, Rafael was surprised by Carisi's sudden shift in tone and the steely expression he found on Carisi's face. 

"This--" Carisi began, shaking his head. His softened tone still sounded frustrated to Rafael. "--this was O'Dwyer. He wanted to do the right thing by Avery. But he refused to acknowledge that it's sometimes more complicated than the harshest punishment possible. If he had spent a minute - just _one_ minute--"

Carisi broke off, hands gripped on the window ledge behind him, with eyes focused on the back of Liv's framed picture of Noah. Rafael shared a short side-eyed look with Liv, who gave a small shake of the head.

"O'Dwyer's an overworked blow hard," Rafael stated bluntly. Carisi smirked at that and seemed to loosen up. 

"But you're right," he continued, standing. "It's easy to lose sight of the human aspect of these cases. Especially when you've been on the job as long as _O'Dwyer_."

Rafael dragged out the other lawyer's name for comedic effect but surprised himself by watching for Carisi's reaction instead of Liv's. He found himself pleased to get a small snort out of him too. He started for the door before turning to see Liv's tired smile.

"And Detective?" Rafael continued, eyes locked with Liv a little longer before glancing at Carisi's questioning face. "Do what you can to get her home after your little family dinner, yes?"

"Ha!" Carisi called out to his retreating back. "Like she'd listen to me if she didn't listen to you!"

Rafael waved his free hand in acknowledgement, feeling surprisingly light again. He inhaled the smell of the Italian dinner as he walked past the break room and decided he'd pick up some carry out rigatoni on his way home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, feel free to point out any mistakes you notice or share constructive criticism. Thanks again for reading! ♥


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Longest chapter of this part, with a few scenes from this episode. The next chapter is the shortest and then a break (probably a long break) while I finish writing all the chapters to the next part.
> 
> Thank you again for the beta, [Barisilub](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Barisilub/pseuds/Barisilub)! I cannot begin to express my gratitude for your support, encouragement, and corrections. You've helped me more than you know, and far beyond writing. Any remaining mistakes are my own.
> 
> The bolded/italicized quotes to start some scenes this chapter are taken directly from the end of scenes in this episode.

* * *

**Wednesday, August 12, 2015 - Institutional Fail**

* * *

**_"What are you gonna do, Counselor?"_ **

**_"Well, if I'm going to plea it out, I'm gonna need leverage."_ **

Rafael shifted his gaze from Rollins to Liv before striding ahead of them. 

"What did you have in mind?" Liv's voice called out to him, not even five paces away. Rafael turned and stepped back even closer into their space.

"His supervisors signed off on those backdated reports?" He asked Rollins, hardly waiting for her quick nod. "We need to confirm the reports are false. We need to talk to Manuela Ozuna," He paused and looked between Liv and Rollins. "And do we think Keith Musio might testify against his supervisors?"

Liv and Rollins shared an uncertain look, Rollins sucking in a breath to reply but Liv beat her to it. 

"Carisi has a rapport with him. You should go with him to visit Musio--"

"Tomorrow," Rollins cut in. "Give him a little time to stew in jail." 

Liv paused to smirk at Rollins before leveling Rafael with a piercing but playful look. "Exactly. And Rollins and I will take our _maternal outrage_ and put it to good use."

Rollins snorted, surprised, but Rafael just glared back at Liv, head inclined and fighting off his own smirk, as he pulled out his phone. He only broke eye contact when he had to find and select Carisi's phone number. Liv used the break as an excuse to turn from him and walk away, with Rollins following after her. He watched them go as he waited for the call to connect, Rollins glancing at Liv with a laugh still on her lips and Liv's head shaking slightly as she got in the passenger side of Rollins' car.

His thoughts were redirected to his phone when a harsh Staten Island accent answered, _"Carisi."_

"Detective," Rafael said by way of greeting as he started his own path back towards his office. "We need to pay Keith Musio a visit."

_"You at your office? I can be there in 10."_

"I appreciate that, Carisi, but your colleagues suggest we wait until tomorrow."

 _"Right. Okay."_ Carisi sounded embarrassed but Rafael decided that was best to ignore.

"Set up the visit with his lawyer. Preferably morning. Confirm with Rikers. Give them my name and yours," Rafael's speech matched his quick steps. "Text me the time when it's set."

_"I'm on it, Counselor."_

Rafael was about to thank him and hang up when Carisi continued.

_"I could give you a ride. Talk strategy on the drive there."_

"Sure," Rafael sighed. "Let's work out the details once we have a time set."

_"Sounds good. I'll text ya."_

"Perfect."

He took the phone from his ear to end the call but was surprised to find that Carisi beat him to it.

* * *

**Thursday, August 13, 2015**

* * *

Rafael got an early start that morning but he had lost track of time while looking over his notes to a case heading towards appeal. This meant that he got a late start on a fresh pot of coffee before Carisi was due to pick him up at 9am. He stood at the coffee maker, willing it to brew more quickly, when his phone beeped.

_Carisi: I'm out front. Have a large coffee with your name on it_

_Down in a second_

He grabbed his briefcase from his desk and encouraged Carmen to help herself to the coffee as he breezed out of the office. 

Outside, Carisi's car was parked to left of the entrance and Carisi himself paced beside it as he spoke on the phone. He caught sight of Rafael coming towards him and raised his to-go cup to greet him before pointing with it towards a larger travel mug waiting on the roof of his car.

"Yeah, I know," Carisi spoke into his phone, rolling his eyes at Rafael as though he were in on some joke. "Okay, okay. I'll talk to her but right now I gotta go."

Rafael kept his eyes on Carisi as he reached for the mug, amused by the detective gesturing with his coffee cup for the person on the phone to wrap it up and even more amused by his blush when he caught Rafael watching him.

"I love you too, but jeez, I'm working! I'll call you tonight!" Carisi gave him an apologetic look as he pocketed his phone and made his way towards the driver's side of the car. "Ready?"

"I am," Rafael said as he slid into the car. "And thanks for the coffee." 

"Sure thing," Carisi said, starting the car before he even put on his seatbelt.

"So your loved one? I'm guessing a Carisi sibling or cousin and not a girlfriend?" Rafael wasn't sure why he was even asking, but Carisi's reddening cheeks and embarrassed smile were certainly a bonus. He tried to hide it by looking over his shoulder before pulling into traffic but Rafael saw it.

"Uh, yeah. My sister."

"Bella? I hope she's well?"

"Yeah, Bella's great but that was actually Gina, one of my older sisters. Bit of a drama queen."

Rafael raised his eyebrows at that. He wondered idly if Carisi's accent got stronger just by talking about his family as it often did when he got worked up about something. Carisi did a bit of a double take when he saw Rafael's expression.

"Hey, look, I'm sure it seemed like Bella was too. Hell, you probably think I'm a drama queen for all I know. Bella had an excuse, though. What with all she was going through when you met her? And either way, it's all relative. Bella and I may be a bit dramatic from time to time but Gina … She blows all of us out of the water." Carisi ended the rant with a broad sweep of his hand. Rafael was grateful for the lid on his coffee as he heard the liquid sloshing dangerously over his lap.

"I didn't say a word, Detective," Rafael said before taking a satisfied sip of his own coffee.

"Uh-uh," Carisi nodded, unconvinced, but smiling anyway as he focused on the road, loose hold on the wheel, hardly more than the press of the pads of his palm with one hand and the heel of the other still holding his drink.

Rafael enjoyed the quiet, and the surprisingly good coffee, for a while as his gaze shifted between the road ahead and the detective's strange driving style. He was about to ask about it when Carisi spoke first.

"So what's our angle here with Musio?" 

"Talk to me first. Tell me what I don't know about him," Rafael responded. "We'll go from there."

"He's an overworked, young guy who's scared and remorseful," Carisi finally put his empty cup in the holder and he began to gesture vaguely with his now free hand as he spoke. "He already had a large caseload and then took on over half of his co-worker's load when she went on maternity leave. Twelve hours are a light day for him, no vacation, no sick days. Supervisor on his back, deputy commissioner on hers.

"He cried when I told him Keisha was dead last week but he didn't cry when I arrested him yesterday. His lawyer beat us to holding but he talked on the ride there. He wanted to know how Bruno was doing, if the city would be able to bring in help to take over his caseload. I know he could be playing me but he seemed genuine. 

"Also, I think he might take stimulants. Lots of the markers. Which, you know, could also be stress from talking to cops when you have something to hide? But knowing the hours he puts in, I'd be more surprised if he weren't taking something. Maybe caffeine pills? Something."

"You sympathize with him." It wasn't an accusation and the detective seemed to understand as much, if his ready nod and relaxed expression was anything to go by.

"Good. Can we get him to turn on Grayson and Sheridan?"

"Yeah, I think we can. He's fragile. He's feeling guilty. I imagine he'd like the truth to come out so kids start getting better service."

"Hm, that's good," Rafael nodded, pondering. 

"So," Carisi ventured into the short silence. "What's our strategy?"

"I think you've already summed it up, Detective," Rafael answered easily. "We speak to his guilt, to how we prevent it from happening again. Since you have the rapport, I'll speak to his guilt. You can help him see that he doesn't carry the majority of it on his on shoulders. He's fragile?"

"Yeah, but I think that's a good thing. I think we don't take it too easy on him while still giving him a way out."

"Good, that's good."

 

* * *

 

**_"Forgot my pen."_ **

Carisi caught up to Rafael and D'Angelo quickly but Rafael still let D'Angelo check out first since it'd take longer for Carisi to retrieve his gun. The sooner he was rid of D'Angelo, the happier he'd be.

Luckily, D'Angelo had no plans to hang around and he left with a simple, "Gentlemen, don't work too hard."

Rafael breathed a small huff, not quite laughter, and he glanced at D'Angelo's retreating back while Carisi began to sign out. He shifted his gaze back just as the detective pushed his jacket aside to holster his gun. He wasn't sure what was special about the motion. He'd seen Carisi without a suit jacket on more times than he could count. He was pretty sure he'd seen Carisi holster his gun, although he couldn't think of when. This time, though, he found himself mesmerized by about five different things at once. 

His eyes were drawn to Carisi's slim waist and graceful hands, one that secured his gun while the other scooped up his ID and badge. He allowed himself a moment to appreciate Carisi's improved wardrobe, particularly in fit, and his improved hairstyle. He was attractive from the beginning, even with the abomination he called a mustache, but it was harder not to notice just how attractive he was now that he was making better style choices. As Carisi pushed his jacket even further back to lift it over and flat against his gun, Rafael caught a better glimpse of the detective's ass, which looked particularly appealing with Carisi leaning to the side as he finished adjusting his clothing. 

Rafael wasn't sure how long he looked but he realized he was bordering on ogling. Luckily, Carisi's attention was on the desk officer as he wished her a good day before he turned his attention back to Rafael. It was just enough time for Rafael to shift his focus to more appropriate levels. He schooled his features to that of bored indifference and he didn't even have to fake an eye roll when Carisi flashed him a grin.

"Ready?"

Rafael simply nodded and started towards the exit, Carisi easily keeping up with him. He spared a glance at the man out of the corner of his eye and practically did a double take at the smug grin on Carisi's face. He found himself having to work pretty hard to not smile in return, even though the detective was looking resolutely forward. He could clearly feel Rafael's eyes on him as his smile broadened but Rafael wasn't about to allow himself a hint of a smile in reaction to Carisi's unrestrained pride.

"Whatever you did back there, it can wait until we get back to the car," Rafael warned.

"I didn't say anything," Carisi responded mildly, not nearly as defensive as Rafael had expected, and jammed his hands deep into his pockets.

"You're about to burst, though, Detective. You're practically skipping."

"Ha, not even close." 

Carisi straightened slightly and composed himself completely. Rafael would have wondered if he had offended him but as they passed through the outdoor gate to the prison parking lot, he caught the slight quirk of Carisi's lips, just enough to show his right dimple. 

As they approached the detective's car, Rafael's phone buzzed with a text. He slowed his stride to read the message from the DA asking for an update on the case. Carisi reached his door first and opened it for him on his way around the front of the car. Rafael didn't even notice until he reached the open door and Carisi was already pulling his own door open.

"Not going to close my door for me, Detective?" Rafael teased as he slid into his seat, his eyes still on his phone as another text came in. 

"Even give me a hard time when I do you a simple favor? _Wow_ ," Carisi joked back. He bent at the waist to lean into the car but he did not get in. Rafael looked up at him mid-text.

"What's the delay? I'd like to get back to my office before close of business."

Carisi just looked pointedly over Rafael's shoulder, causing him to turn and see his door still wide open.

"If you want me to close your door for you, Counselor," Carisi drawled, "maybe try dropping the sarcasm? I'm nothing if not a gentleman but I--"

"Alright, alright!" Rafael interrupted, his voice raised and his ire punctuated by the loud slam of his door. Carisi dropped into his own seat and closed his door much more gently. Rafael glowered at the smirk on his face as Carisi started the engine and backed out of the parking spot before even putting on his seat belt.

"Isn't safety usually a concern of NYPD?" Rafael asked, voice slightly incredulous. "Neither of us are wearing a seatbelt and I haven't seen you hold the wheel properly yet."

"You want me to stop so you can buckle up? I thought you were in a hurry." His tone was still playful but he reached over his shoulder and appeared to make an effort to keep a hand firmly around the wheel as he pulled the seatbelt across his lap.

"Just see if you can get us back without incident, Detective." Rafael received a thrill of pleasure as he buckled in and he saw Carisi's hands grip the wheel at the newly recommended 8 and 4 positions. 

"I'll have you know that I've never had an accident in my life," Carisi argued, looking at him so long that Rafael wondered if he was trying to test his streak. "Not counting active chases on duty, of course."

"Of course," Rafael agreed as he resumed typing. "And how many crashes have you been involved in during active chases?"

Carisi simply scoffed and, when Rafael glanced his way as he typed, he caught the detective's curled lip and scrunched nose. Rafael smirked at his phone but decided to take pity on him.

"So, Detective, what had you walking on air back there?"

"You mean besides your charming company?" Carisi sounded like his cheerful, teasing self but his expression was still slightly sour.

Rafael placed his phone face down on his leg and turned towards Carisi.

"Did you get something out of Musio?" He asked, tone professional.

"Nah, and really, it'll probably amount to nothing," Carisi said, face relaxing and right hand dislodging to drum his thumb against the wheel.

"Do I even _want_ to know?"

"Hey, I didn't cross any lines," Carisi said, smiling, left hand still appropriately positioned but right hand gesturing as he spoke. Rafael was impressed, not for the first time, by the detective's ability to bounce back.

"Tell me."

"I just reminded him where he stands in the eyes of his employers, his union, his _lawyer_ ," Carisi drawled the last word as he raised his eyebrows at Rafael.

"All that in a matter of seconds? How'd he react?"

"Didn't say a word. I didn't stick around. But," and Carisi punctuated his next words with a loose finger pointed at Rafael as he continued. "But his expression, Counselor. He'll think on it. I think we got a shot."

"Hm, I hope he thinks quick. We have court tomorrow."

"Yeah, I know," Carisi said, more subdued again.

"Either way, it was a good move. Especially with how dismissive D'Angelo was."

"My thoughts exactly, Counselor," he agreed with a pointed look.

 

* * *

 

**_"When Dodds leaves, tell Sarge I went back to the Pen. Keith wants to talk."_ **

Rafael stood outside his office building, ready and typing notes on his phone for the rest of his now even _busier_ day, when Carisi pulled up. 

"Counselor, hope you weren't waiting long," Carisi said, looking over his shoulder before pulling into traffic the moment Rafael's door was shut. 

"Not long at all," Rafael answered honestly. "I appreciate you getting here so fast."

"Yeah, sure. I'm just glad Keith got a new lawyer, even if he is a public defender."

"Agreed. Guthrie isn't much better than D'Angelo, as far as defense attorneys go, but at least he'll really be looking out for Musio's interests, which should lend nicely to our interests."

"Exactly."

Rafael resumed his note taking as they spoke and Carisi seemed to take it as a cue to quiet down, glancing at Rafael's hands every once and awhile. By the time they reached Williamsburg Bridge, Rafael had had enough.

"Did you have something to say, Carisi? You know I'm pretty good at multitasking."

"Nah, I mean," Carisi paused to look at Rafael and seemed to take his raised eyebrows as sincerity before continuing, "yeah, we did find out that more files were scanned in the day after Keisha died. Not just Keith's. A lot more."

Rafael locked his phone and looked at the detective.

"I thought you could multi-task?" Carisi teased with a smirk.

"And I thought you would know how important this information was. How long have you been sitting on this? And who is 'we'?"

"Believe me, I know," Carisi replied, right hand gesturing as though pushing down Rafael's irritation. "But I also don't know what's on your phone right there. Hard to know priorities when it comes to your stuff."

"And when has that ever stopped you before?" Rafael asked, annoyance clear in his voice.

"See, I really can't win with you, can I?"

"Always trying to score points," Rafael muttered to himself, but loud enough for Carisi to hear, before speaking directly to him again. "You still haven't answered the 'when' and the 'we'?"

"I got back to the squad room today right when Fin and Amanda discovered it."

"What did Liv have to say about it?"

"Dodds arrived shortly after we told her. He is not pleased."

"I don't imagine any of our bosses are _pleased_ ," Rafael seethed. "The DA has basically warned me that while a conviction will be better for me than an acquittal, the only way I get out unscathed is if I drop it all together."

Carisi looked at him, brow furrowed, and once again longer than Rafael was comfortable with from someone operating a moving vehicle. 

"Eyes on the road, Detective. And don't worry. I'm not dropping anything."

"I'm glad." The detective's eyes cut back to him briefly, as though afraid to disobey but still needing to make his point. "This one is important."

"Aren't they all?"

"Yeah. Of course. But," Carisi pressed his lips together and shook his head as he drummed the heels of both hands against the wheel, seemingly intent on making Rafael nervous. "I dunno. Rollins and Fin are still looking into things but... I think you'll see what I mean when we talk to you about these files."

"And when will that be?"

"Anytime. I can call Fin and Amanda on the way back and they can meet us at your office with everything, if you want."

"Hm, probably not. I have a meeting at 3. Assuming we get back in time for it. Maybe text them when we get to Rikers. Give them a heads up that I'd like to be briefed this evening."

"You got it. Even if they can't be there, I can work on it when I get back and brief you when you're free."

Rafael nodded and resumed his note taking. "We'll ask Musio who scanned the files. If other co-workers came in that day."

"Right, of course," Carisi eagerly agreed. "And press him to confirm that he hadn't seen Keisha for _months_."

"Won't hurt. Guthrie might not allow him to answer, though. Not with what I'm willing to offer for a deal."

"And what's that?"

"I can't go lower than criminally negligent homicide."

Carisi whistled but didn't say anything.

"It's the best I can do."

"Hey, I get it. I know he bears responsibility here. I just agree that his lawyer might not let him tell us everything."

Rafael nodded, glad that he didn't have to have a long, legal argument with Carisi.

"Is it hard to find that line?"

Rafael sighed. So much for getting out of a larger legal discussion.

"Which line is that?"

"The line between sweetening the deal to get to the larger injustice, while still addressing the relatively smaller, but still important, injustice."

"Surely this has come up in your classes already?"

"Well, yeah," Carisi responded, blushing slightly. "I've got the theory down. I'm interested in the practical."

Rafael just looked at him, unimpressed.

"Alright," the detective spoke slowly, switching to an overly posh affect. "I'm asking ADA Rafael Barba, in his enduring wisdom and vast experience, if that line is a _bitch_ to find."

Rafael smirked, more amused than he cared to admit.

"Flattery _will_ get you some places with me," Rafael began slowly, as he relished in Carisi's widening smile, "but you lose all gained ground with thinly veiled commentary on my age."

Carisi's exaggerated gaping did not cover the huge grin still on his face. "I didn--"

"Yes, you did," Rafael insisted, with a finger held between them. "But you're in luck. I prefer the sound of my own voice to yours so you'll get your answer."

Carisi scoffed good naturedly but otherwise didn't respond, seeming to decide not to press his luck.

"As you know, there are really multiple lines to consider, not just the line between justice and flipping a perp to a witness. Defense attorneys will always use a deal to try to call testimony into question. But they'll succeed if the deal is too good for the crime committed."

"You're giving me theory, Counselor" Carisi responded flatly.

"I'm running out the clock, Detective. My voice, remember?"

"Yeah, yeah," he responded, laying the accent on thick.

"In practice, it's pretty straight forward. You look at similar cases, you think about the original charge and how many steps you're willing to drop down. You rarely offer your bottom first, though I might today. It's not much of a drop at all. He'll either take it or leave it," Rafael took a deep breath, changing his tone to that of sarcastic boredom as he turned back to his phone. "When you've been doing this as long as I have, it's practically muscle memory."

Carisi just nodded with an exaggerated frown that was more thoughtful than anything. Rafael raised an eyebrow at him when he realized what he was doing. He decided to see how long the detective could go without talking, the impromptu quiet game lasting the rest of their drive and until they showed ID at the prison gate. Rafael felt that the detective took far too much pleasure in the CO greeting Rafael first.

"I had no idea a person could gloat so much without saying a single word."

Carisi simply smirked harder, dimples popping and lips pressed tight together.

 

* * *

 

**_"Keisha died on my watch. It's gonna haunt me the rest of my life."_ **

"You got it, Sarge," Carisi spoke into his phone as he buckled his seatbelt. He sat a beat longer, listening to Liv before telling her they were on their way back and ending the call.

"See? We work alright together," Carisi enthused as he pulled out of his parking spot. "You might even realize that I can be pretty helpful if I shadow a case."

Rafael glanced at Carisi and pulled out his phone, pretending it had just buzzed with a text or email alert.

"Ha! You were hoping I'd forgotten, weren't you?"

"That steel trap mind? Never," Rafael deadpanned. "I was hoping, though, that little outings like this would be enough to count as shadowing."

"Aw, come on! I mean, I'm not going to pester you about it or anything. But I do think it could be mutually beneficial. I know I come off as … a little much. But I swear I won't step on your toes or anything. And it's not like you wouldn't put me in my place if I do something you disapprove of."

"Hm," Rafael agreed. "Well, this isn't the case for shadowing anyway. So let's table this until a more appropriate case is on the docket."

"Yeah, okay. I appreciate you keeping an open mind."

Rafael just nodded and began responding to a couple of the actual emails that had come in while at Rikers. After sending his third reply, he glanced at the time and realized how hungry he was.

"I need to text Carmen about some appointments to set up. I'm also going to ask her to order lunch. Do you want anything from Nish Nush? It'd be easy to take back to the station."

"Nah, thanks though, counselor. Rollins and Fin will both be expecting lunch. After I drop you, I'm gonna stop off at City Sandwich. You know, that Portuguese-Italian place that's a couple blocks from the precinct? With the bread made in house? I told them just yesterday that I'd go there the next time I'm out and about anywhere around lunch time."

"It's almost 2pm," Rafael argued, unsure why he even cared. "What if they've eaten?"

"Are you kidding?" Carisi laughed, not unkindly. "Amanda will have eaten, some. But she's only able to have these super small meals like a thousand times a day. She'll eat maybe 5 bites and be full. Then she'll be hungry again in less than 30. And Fin? He loves that place. Even if he saves it for dinner, he's always happy to get it. And if they really don't need anything, they'll text me. Otherwise I'll get a lot of shit if I don't bring them City Sandwich."

"Suit yourself," Rafael said with a smirk as he texted his own lunch order to Carmen.

 

* * *

 

Rafael stood at his desk, bent over to write hastily on a legal pad, before he stood up straight and resumed pacing, a process he'd been cycling through over the last fifteen minutes or so. He had been sitting most of the day, in the car, at Rikers, in meetings, in his office. It felt as though his body needed to start moving in order for his brain to continue working, thus the prep on his feet.

A sharp knock on the door broke him from his thoughts of opening statements and witness lists.

"Come in," he answered, turning his back on the dark windows that showed only the street lights on Hogan Place. He watched as Detective Tutuola entered his office, a full evidence box carried in front of him.

"Barba."

"Detective," Rafael greeted, and he tried to push away the strange feeling of disappointment that the man was alone. "Rollins and Carisi send you to brief me on your own?"

"Liv sent Rollins home an hour ago," Fin answered as though it should have been obvious, "otherwise she'd be here. Carisi's parking. Got a lot of paperwork here. Might be easiest to lay it all out?"

The two set about clearing the conference table in Rafael's office. He let the detective organize the paperwork while he poured three coffees and pulled out the falafel platter that Carmen had ordered for him so he had something to snack on in the evening after his late lunch from Nish Nush. He placed the refreshments on the coffee table just as he heard Carisi's voice greet Carmen cheerfully.

"Hey," Carisi breathed heavily as he entered the open office. It was though he had run through the building after he parked the car. His cheeks were flushed and a single, soft curl was coming loose over his forehead.

"Gentlemen," Rafael said with a nod in Carisi's direction, "help yourselfs to coffee and snacks. Excuse me." And he ducked his head out to tell Carmen she could go home for the evening, feeling bad that he had been so immersed in prep that he kept her there longer than necessary.

"Barba, man," Fin said as Rafael came back in, a half eaten pita wedge in his hand. "Food's good but you sure got a funny idea of what's a snack. This is fancy shit."

Rafael snorted. "I think I have trail mix by the coffee pot. Help yourself. Sorry I don't have donuts or cake to go with the coffee," he joked.

Fin just grunted as he crossed to find the trail mix, scoping a small paper cup into the bowl so he could eat while standing over the conference table. Carisi looked over the paperwork that Fin had organized and Rafael picked up his own coffee, and then, almost without thinking, he also picked up Carisi's. He placed it on the conference table beside the stack of papers that Carisi was flipping through but he found Tutuola's eyes when he spoke.

"What have you brought me, Detectives?"

"130 additional backdated reports," Fin started to rattle off as he pointed his cup of trail mix towards various piles. "Each scanned in on August 8th, from eight additional caseworkers."

"And over here," Carisi cut in, pointing to more than half of the paperwork, "this is the corresponding evidence that proves that the scanned documentation is complete fabrication."

"You have evidence for _each_ of the reports?" Rafael asked, disbelieving.

"Well, no," Carisi allowed.

"But we do have evidence for about two thirds of the cases," Fin explained. "Rollins, who is finally and officially on desk duty, found a lot of it through hospital and arrest reports."

Rafael smirked, picking up on the part jealousy, part relief in Tutuola's voice as he spoke of desk duty. 

"And Fin followed up with the other families," Carisi said, picking up two DCS files as he continued. "He found out this kid moved in with grandma after her mother OD'ed, even though reports showed mom alive and clean, and the family intact. And this family had a caseworker supposedly visiting them every week, even though they'd moved back to El Salvador a year before."

Rafael nodded thoughtfully and took a closer look at the stack on the evidence side that Carisi had gestured toward. The top sheet showed an itemized evidence list for the Salvadoran family, including housing agreements, school enrollment, and flight and border/customs documentation. The corresponding paperwork below the evidence list had color coded tabs with the case number written on each tab.

"And who organized the evidence?" He asked, knowing the answer.

Fin snorted. "Some kid muttering about shadowing," he joked, a grin on his face.

Rafael cut his eyes over to Carisi, the detective's bowed head unable to hide his blush as his fingers danced over case folders.

"Fin," Carisi said and he thrust a file in Tutuola's direction. "You should tell Barba about this one."

"Right," Fin agreed, completely sober upon reading the front of the folder now in his hands. "Rollins found hospital and arrest reports for this one. I didn't follow up on all of those but Detective Dumas from the 27th was the arresting officer and we know him. Eight year old kid. While the caseworker report claims everyone to be clean and healthy--"

"Like all the reports did," Carisi interrupted harshly, leaning on his fist against the table, other hand on his hip.

"Yeah, all of them," Fin nodded, shifting his weight as he spoke. "Even after Dum arrested the mother and the kid was rushed to the hospital to pump his stomach of the bleach she'd been forcing down his throat."

"Jesus," Rafael let out, straightening from his stooped position. "DCS didn't even know about this? Dumas? The hospital? Didn't someone call them?"

"Both say they did," Fin answered quickly. "But neither can provide proof, and of course Musio is the only from DCS who's talking."

"Dum said he had to leave a message, right?" Carisi asked Tutuola, who nodded. Carisi turned toward Rafael with a sharp intensity in his eyes, his mouth set in controlled anger. "Maybe you could get a warrant for their phone records, to include voicemails? TARU would be able to retrieve messages that have been deleted."

Rafael bit his lip, thinking. "Not a bad idea, Detective. But first," he turned back to Tutuola, shaking his head as he tried to process just this first example of DCS's negligence and attempted cover up. He blinked quickly before continuing in a voice stronger than he felt, "Finish telling me about the rest of these cases."

* * *

**Friday, August 14, 2015**

* * *

**_"Now you want to put me in jail? For this? Look in the mirror, my friend. Look in the damn mirror. Okay?"_ **

"Nice work, Counselor," Carisi said as Rafael joined the squad in the hall outside the courtroom. His tone was sincere but the detective only allowed the hint of his customary smile.

"I should be saying the same to you, Detectives," he replied as he looked between Carisi, Tutuola, and Rollins. "Lieutenant--"

Liv immediately opened her mouth to protest his premature title bump but stopped when he squeezed her arm. "You've got a good squad. You should be proud." He patted her shoulder as she ducked her head and nodded her agreement before looking them each in the eye. 

"Yeah, I do. And I am."

Rafael stuck around for a beat, just long enough to see their reactions. Each looked proud, but as though they couldn't gain too much joy from such a case. Fin jammed his hands in his pockets and shifted subtly on his heels while Rollins scratched above her eyebrow, expression slightly twisted. 

He understood the sentiment. 

He took one last look at Carisi's slight blush, oddly coupled with a frown, before he turned his back on the group and made his way to the elevator.

"Counselor, wait," Carisi called as Rafael pressed the down button. Rafael turned to find that while the detective wasn't running, not quite, it did appear by his rushed steps that he had waited until the last minute to break off from the group and follow him. He looked over Carisi's shoulder to see Liv glancing their way before turning her attention back to whatever Tutuola was saying.

"What can I do for you, Carisi?" Rafael asked with a sigh.

"We were, uh," Carisi began, hooking his thumb and jerking his head back toward the others. "We were gonna get a drink? Nothing crazy, not after a case like this. Just something quiet before we all head home. Maybe, uh, that new bar you mentioned to Liv the other day?"

Rafael ignored the elevator's arrival _bing_ and smiled slightly, having forgotten that both Carisi and Rollins had been there when he told Liv about the quiet new bar in his neighborhood. 

"I'll take a raincheck, Detective," Rafael answered regretfully. "A lot of long nights this week. I want to get home early after I finish up some work at the office."

"Yeah, okay," Carisi nodded. "But you're okay, right? I know Keisha and Bruno were bad enough. But all those other kids… they hit us all hard."

Rafael looked down at Carisi's shoes, nodding as the detective spoke. He looked up to answer, hoping his eyes were more clear than they felt.

"When you've been doing this as long as I have," Rafael said, tone starting sarcastic before easing into something softer than was comfortable, "the hard hits… hit just as hard." He cleared his throat and forced a smirk. "But don't worry, Carisi. I'm fine. I'm just glad we got some justice. Hopefully this will force the change necessary for DCS."

"Yeah," Carisi agreed, his voice rough and expression still concerned. "Hope so."

They looked at each other for a moment before the elevator binged open again, letting out two court officers. Rafael watched as Carisi pulled a hand from his pocket and stepped around him to grab the elevator door. He nodded his thanks and sidestepped past him and through the doors. 

"Have a good weekend, Barba."

"You too, Carisi." Rafael pulled out his phone even as he pressed the button to the ground floor, resolutely not looking up again until the doors were closed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, feel free to point out any mistakes you notice or share constructive criticism. Thanks again for reading! ♥


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did a limited amount of research to hopefully make the Grand Jury stuff at least seem realistic. That said, I also just went on instinct in some areas so it's very possible I got some of the legal stuff wrong, which will be true in all my writing. I'll research what I can to try to make stuff right but from time to time, I'll just go with my gut or with what works for the story. If you notice any errors, though, feel free to point it out and I'll try to fix it.

* * *

**Friday, August 18, 2015 - Community Policing**

* * *

"But … the police are allowed to shoot suspects sometimes, right? How do we know if this was one of those times?"

Rafael almost regretted opening the floor to questions before calling the first witness. They had already been discussing background on the case for twenty minutes and it appeared there was no end in sight. 

Of course, some of what the jurors had asked, including this question, he planned to have witnesses address throughout the day too so it wasn't like they weren't good questions. The discussion showed, though, that this Grand Jury was feeling the pressure of such a high profile case. 

With each inquiry, Rafael was torn on how to respond. On the one hand, he wanted to wrap this up so that the jurors didn't feed off of one another's anxiety. However, he also knew that providing the information they most wanted early on could help the jurors focus better on the upcoming witnesses. 

In the end, he answered each question as he always would: as dispassionately and thoroughly as possible, while also not getting bogged down in the minutiae of the law. The testimonies of the day could deal with the details, as well as the emotions, of the case. 

"It is complicated," Rafael began, looking through the notes on his podium, "but we have direction from the US Supreme Court. In the 1989 case of Graham v. Connor, the Supreme Court created a standard of 'objective reasonableness.' The Court stated, and I quote, 'The "reasonableness" of a particular use of force must be judged from the perspective of a reasonable officer on the scene, rather than with the 20/20 vision of hindsight.'"

"' _Objective_ reasonableness'?" Rafael looked up towards the red-headed woman on the back row as she seemed to struggle with the Court's standard. "That seems far more _subjective_ to me."

"Yeah," agreed the young man sitting to her left, "going by that, can't cops all claim that it only looks bad in hindsight?"

"Not quite," Rafael answered, stepping back from behind the podium to stand in front of the witness table. "The standard of the 'reasonable' officer, takes into account the training that all officers receive as well as police protocol, such as only using force when there is imminent threat of death or serious bodily injury. We'll get into more of that with our first witness. Now, you could argue that the standard is still rather broad but for the use of force to meet the criteria of 'objective reasonableness,' a jury must remember that an officer comes to any event with specific training to assess and react to dangerous situations. In this case, you will have to apply that knowledge to the course of events which led to Terrence Reynolds being shot at thirty-five times. After our first couple of expert witnesses on police training as well as police protocol, we'll bring in eye witnesses as well as individuals to provide character testimony." 

Rafael paused and looked at each face in the room. Most nodded back at him. The worry was still there but they seemed less anxious. Or so he hoped.

"Are there any other questions before we call in our first expert?"

 

* * *

 

_**"And if the suspect was much younger than the actual rapist, unarmed, and innocent, what would that** _ **constitute _?"_**

**_"Hindsight."_ **

**_"Is that what you would say to Mr. Reynolds' family?"_ **

Carisi just looked back at Rafael for a moment before taking a deep breath. 

"I'd … no, of course not."

For a moment it seemed like Carisi might say something else and Rafael let him struggle, taking perverse pleasure in watching the detective shift uncomfortably, leaning back in his seat and tugging below the lapels of his jacket. To his credit, Carisi did not duck his head but only averted his eyes for a moment before looking at the jury, his eyes apologetic and lips parted before pressing his mouth tight and setting his jaw.

"I have no more questions for you, Detective," Rafael said shortly. "You're dismissed."

Rafael did not watch Carisi leave. He flipped through a couple of pages in front of him and looked up to the jury before Carisi even reached the door.

"At this time," Rafael began, forcing his voice towards his usual inflection and away from the harsh tone he used with the detective, "we'll take a 15 minute break. There's a coffee station just outside the door, to the right. Please feel free to use the restroom and stretch your legs. As this is our first break, I'll remind you that discussing this case outside this room, in anyway and with anyone, is strictly forbidden."

 

* * *

 

Rafael carried his briefcase and a large folder towards a bench about 10 yards down the hall from the Grand Jury room. He noticed Carisi even further down the hall, checking his phone, and he almost turned to find a bench in the other direction. He felt certain that Carisi wouldn't walk through where most of the jury was milling about to get to Rafael. 

Here, without a single juror between them, he felt more exposed. He was too stubborn to turn around, though, especially since Carisi had likely seen him already. 

Rafael sat down and began sifting through his briefcase, taking out a folder before tucking the other away. He felt Carisi approach as he read the notes he had prepared on Terrence Reynolds and his family. He refused to look up, eyes unfocused on the words in front of him, tension and anger building the closer Carisi got. 

The detective stopped a few away, not so close as to tower over Rafael but close enough to grate on his nerves. Neither said a word for a good ten seconds. Rafael felt ready to burst but instead inhaled deeply through his nose and cut his eyes over in Carisi's direction, without looking up. 

Carisi's hands were in his pockets and he shifted subtly, clearly unsure how to proceed, or even if to proceed. 

Rafael didn't have time for it. Not for Carisi's guilt. Not for Carisi's comfort. Not for Carisi's _hindsight_.

"Do you _mind_ , Carisi?" 

Carisi's hand dropped out of his pocket, as though he already was planning to reach for Rafael, before he was turned away so harshly. Carisi paused a moment, still unsure, before he shoved his hand back deep into his pocket and turned and walked away. 

Rafael did not move his head. His eyes, though, couldn't help but to follow, to watch Carisi's long strides and shaking head. He tore his gaze away before Carisi was out of sight and refocused on Terrence Reynolds and the justice he deserved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this last chapter is so short, and took longer than I expected to post. I ended up adding more Grand Jury stuff, and it was the bit that needed research. Research and reworking things and real life all got in the way :) 
> 
> As for [Graham v. Connor](https://www.fletc.gov/sites/default/files/PartIGrahamvConnor.pdf), this is a real case. A few month ago on NPR, I actually heard about "hindsight" being part of a Supreme Court opinion regarding police using force. It was when this story was in my head but not yet on paper. In addition to some Grand Jury procedures I researched this past week, I also researched this case early on. I feel confident that Carisi intentionally used the word "hindsight" in his testimony and I feel confident that Rafael knew it was intentional. I had already decided that Carisi's testimony would be an important moment in this story but it made me so happy to discover that "hindsight" held such legal weight. Even though ~~and perhaps in part because~~ it put Carisi on the wrong side of justice for Terrence ... but still legally sound. 
> 
> A couple notes on the series, if you're interested. At this point, the entire series is outlined and I've started writing a lot of the chapters, with just a couple mostly completed. As evidenced by the six month gap between posting _Mind If I Drop Over?_ and _Do You Mind?_ , though, I'm a very slow writer. So please be patient with me as I continue. I won't post a part until all chapters of that part are mostly completed so it'll be a while before you see anything from part 3. I will say that for part 3, I'll be switching between Rafael and Sonny's POV from chapter to chapter. The first chapter will pick up at the end of this episode, _Community Policing_ , with Sonny's POV. I don't know when I'll start posting part 3 but I feel confident it'll be before 2018. Or I hope ;)
> 
> Thank you again to [Barisilub](http://barisilub.tumblr.com) for beta'ing! It would have taken me another six months to publish even this part if not for your encouragement and support. Love ya, boo!
> 
> As always, feel free to point out any mistakes you notice or share constructive criticism. Thank you all so much for reading, commenting, and giving kudos to this story already! It means so much to me ♥


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